A poem about my love and my ex...

Why do I beat myself up
because I had the courage to love
gave all of myself in hopes that he was the one

Why do I beat myself up
When it was his choice to be unfaithful
His choice to hurt me

Why do I beat myself up
Knowing that I had done everything for him
supported him, comforted him,
loved him more than I loved myself

Why after his lies and deceit
Should I still love him? And want him to love me?
Why after the repeat of hurt and trust being lost
do I think that he deserves a love as pure as mine

Why do I beat myself up
over what I could have done better
when I knew deep down there was nothing

What makes me search for answers as to why
when they will not change the past
Nor mend my broken heart

Why when a man decides to cheat do we blame ourselves?
Why does it make us question every little detail about who we are
Make us think that we are not worthy of love

Why when a man cheats do we still long for him to change
Realize how wrong he was, and fall in love with us again

Why do I beat myself up
When I deserve more
When all that I have done is loved someone completely

Give myself time and the pain will subside
and the mourning will cease
I will see that I am still me
Still wonderful, beautiful me

Nothing has changed except my experience in love
And my determination to share love with another

As I can never truly love someone until I learn to love myself.