It's scary as you get older.....

     No one ever tells you that getting older sucks until you actually start to get there. Well as a middle aged man (OMG I never thought I would say that) I can see what the hype is all about. Aches, pains, pills, depression...it all sucks ass! Sure, I heard my parents talk amongst aunts and uncles about it, but I never paid any attention to it. It didn't pertain to me. So why worry?

     Then there's death. It creeps up on you slowly but then, your life flashes by you like a vapor in the wind! Do I believe in God. Yes. I believe in a supreme being that HAD to create this all! I mean, c'mon, ya can't get something from nothing!! Someone had to create all this. Just look at a blade of grass, a flower blooming in the garden. Where did it all come from? Do I believe in the Bible. Some parts. I do believe in a flood with the Ark. They found the Ark. Proof is there. I believe Jesus preached the word of God. I don't believe we are all going to hell because it states that eating Shellfish is an abomination in God's eyes which brings me to being homosexual is an abomination in God's eyes.

     Lately for some reason I have been seeing a lot of things denouncing God and an after life. Professor Stephan Hawkings said that we are all like computers, when our battery cell burns out that's it. We don't go anywhere from there. He said if we believe we do we are simple minded little humans. Morgan Freeman did a report on the afterlife saying scientists are starting to see from tests what certain things people see after they die and come back. Such as the light at the end of the tunnel is nothing more that sparks, you can still see with you eyes, that are still coming from your brain until all cells and activity stops within your body. The Democratic Party has decided to exempt the word GOD from their speeches during the Democratic National Convention. Schools don't want to use the word God in the Pledge of Allegiance. I mean what the Hell is going on here?

     Is there a God? I say there has to be. In my heart I believe there is. I pray every night for the safety and health of friends and family, forgiveness of my sins, to help calm the minds of radical terrorists and to have peace on earth as we did when Adam and Eve were on earth in the early stages. Plus, look at our universe. It never ends, so many stars and planets, there has to be other life out there. We can't be the only ones.

     Am I afraid to Die? Early? Yes. As an old decrepit man who is almost 100?  No!  If I could, I would like to live for EVER! But unless there are any Vamps out there that are reading this, I don't think that will happen. I want to see all my Nieces and Nephews grow up, graduate, go to college, get married and I want to become a great uncle.

     My sister Jody Died an early life. She was 21. I don't think she EVER even thought about it. Probably never crossed her mind.

     My sister Kerri stared death in the face for quite a long time. She had cancer. But She overcame and beat its ass!!    

      But I hate to say it, I think about it everyday. Some say I am obsessed with it. That I need help. Do I ? Or is it normal for me to feel this way? Is it normal to feel like I am slipping into a depression? Do I seek help for it, or do I just let it pass? Sometimes I just don't know. I hope I go like everyone hopes they do, In my sleep. Where I go to sleep and just keep sleeping and enjoy being really really rested.

     Mom says I need to be around my family more and start going to Church. The way my life is, there isn't time. I pray at home, and I try to see family as much as I can. Just with my full time job and business, it is rough. real rough.

     Well hopefully this is a phase around my age. I wonder what my high school buddies feel that are around my age?



                                                     Well, we will see......Until next time..........